Why can't I ever accomplish goals?
- tarahpeltz
- Mar 12
- 2 min read
Spoiler alert: It's not your fault, and we're going to use neuroscience to prove why.
People with ADHD will often try countless techniques to get better at accomplishing goals or sticking to routines. Maybe you've tried self help books. Maybe you've even worked with a coach or therapist in the past who probably used motivational interviewing techniques to try to help you.
These interventions sometimes work in the short term, but unfortunately, they were designed for neurotypicals, and the goal is generally to increase your motivation. But if you have ADHD, the problem often isn't actually a lack of motivation. You know that feeling where you want something so bad, but you don't know where to start? Or you can't make your body physically do it, but you can't really explain why? You can thank your mesolimbic and mesocortical pathways for that.
The Brain is a Mail Delivery Service
To understand what's happening in those moments, we can think of the brain as a highly sophisticated mail delivery service.
Mail Delivery Trucks = Neurotransmitters. The mail delivery trucks in this metaphor are your neurotransmitters, such as dopamine or norepinephrine. The brain uses neurotransmitters to transmit messages, just like the name "Neuro" + "Transmitter" would suggest.
Mailboxes = Receptors. When a message needs to be sent, a brain cell, called a neuron, releases neurotransmitters. Think of this as the neuron writing a letter and putting it into an outgoing mailbox. Then, the neurotransmitter eventually attaches to the receptors of another neuron. This is like the letter being delivered to its recipient.
Roads = Neural Circuits. The roads are the various pathways in the brain that the messages are being sent down.
Just like real life, a mail delivery service could run into various issues. This could include not having enough mail trucks, having poorly maintained roads, or even construction or road closures.
These brain differences are fundamental for any clinicians or coaches to understand. If someone tries to convince you that you don't actually want to accomplish your goals deep down or that you're self sabotaging, it might not actually be true. And in that case, all the work in the world to help you to become more motivated isn't going to help.
What you actually need is to work with a coach or therapist who deeply understand ADHD and will help teach you how to break down these onerous tasks into smaller, more achievable steps. You also need an external, nonjudgemental accountability system, like a coach, friend, or partner, so you're more likely to stick to your plan.
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